mesbooks Chapter 244 Southern Excellent Matching Mechanism
Chapter 244 Southern Excellent Matching Mechanism
How many kinds of emperors are there in this world?
It is said that there are two types!
They are a wise ruler and a foolish ruler respectively.
If we divide it further, we can further divide it into holy kings, wise kings, tyrants, incompetent kings, kings who defend the city, lustful kings... and so on!
But this method of division is actually wrong and not rigorous.
Because between a wise ruler and a foolish ruler, there is actually a "mediocre ruler".
Yongjun is very interesting...
He wants to catch up with the good times. If he just lies down and does nothing, he will be a king who maintains the status quo.
If he hadn't caught up with the good times, that is, if natural disasters and man-made disasters continued without doing anything, one day it would be over! He could just pass the blame to the next person.
In fact, you should not be afraid of a mediocre king doing nothing. What you should be afraid of is that he takes action!
If this guy really wants to do something, but doesn't realize that he's not capable enough...
Calling the Emperor! That was her fate.
This is not...
The empress is a very typical example of this.
On the one hand, she has no ability, and on the other hand, she is unaware of it. She is still very eager to make progress and toss around.
There's a curse in later generations: "The left side of your brain is water, and the right side is gray. If you don't use your brain, it's fine! But if you use your brain, it's all goo!"
Look, if the empress is not aggressive, it would be fine, but if she is aggressive, it would be a double stroke.
Originally, Zuo Santong had wanted to clean up the southern court, but he did not take action because of the empress's ascension to the throne.
It’s not that I’m scared!
But in this age of the righteous principles of "Heaven, Earth, Emperor, Parents, and Teachers", regicide is a very ugly reputation!
If it was Zheng Wu before, Zuo Santong would definitely send troops, but the empress...
He was really a little cautious, especially since the empress had also brought in Li Jize from Qingzhou in the north to support him! Zuo Santong was even more wary and didn't dare to move.
But now it's okay...
I didn't go and beat you up! You sent troops to beat me up?
Damn it!
Even if you, the Empress, have Li Jize's support behind you, so what? You can't say that I have to put up with you even if the knife is at my neck, right?
What's more...
Who the hell is Gao Pan?
A poor fellow recruited from the rebels, is he worthy of being crowned a king? Who does he think he is?
Can his throne be compared with Li Jize's throne?
If Gao Pan is not dealt with, he might not even know what "government troops" are!
Zuo Santong immediately asked his emperor (King Zheng Lang of Chu) for permission to send 300,000 troops to personally meet the attack of the false empress in the south.
Zheng Lang is a fat guy!
Very fat, extremely fat, extremely fat.
His dragon throne is not called a dragon throne, it is called a dragon bed, and he basically has no "physiological needs".
The only thing this emperor liked was...
eat!
It is said that the emperor's daily living expenses alone amounted to 30,000 taels! Just imagine what that means.
He would eat 120 dishes in one meal. Moreover, if it were another emperor, these 120 dishes would probably be more for show than for eating.
But this emperor really ate all 120 dishes.
of course……
Is that what you call fat?
He's not fat! That's what people call a big stomach.
When Zuo Santong hurriedly ran over to ask for his permission, our international friend Mr. "David Dai" was lying on a specially made... uh, I don't know whether to call it a bed or a chair.
He was served by five hundred eunuchs and maids in turn, and he sat there doing nothing but opening his mouth and saying “Ah!”
Immediately, a beautiful little palace maid next to him put the food directly into his mouth.
"This humble general, Zuo Santong, pays homage to His Majesty!"
"Zuo Qing, please stand up quickly...quack quack...what can I do for you, my dear?"
"Your Majesty! I have received intelligence that the puppet regime in the south has sent troops to attack our army."
"what?"
Mr. David Dai, who was enjoying his meal, was so frightened when he heard this that he sat up and said, "They're coming...they're coming. Then we...we..."
Obviously, he also knew what kind of person he was. If the enemy really attacked, his reign as emperor would be over.
"Your Majesty! Your Majesty!"
The fat guy looked so flustered. If it weren't for his enormous size, which made it impossible for him to get off the ground, he would have already run away by now!
Zuo Santong was also helpless. How could he have met such a stupid father?
There is really no way, because the nearest prince to him is only this one!
"Your Majesty, why panic? I will personally defeat the enemy!"
Seeing that he was so flustered and out of control, Zuo Santong could no longer bear it and raised his voice. He no longer called him "this general" but "this general".
As expected, Emperor David Dai reacted as soon as he heard this.
He turned around and looked at Zuo Santong, and breathed a sigh of relief.
Sit back, and then...quack, quack...
"Yes, yes, yes...quack, quack... General Zuo is here! What do I have to fear? When will the general go to meet the enemy?"
"I'll go right away! Your Majesty, please issue an order!"
In this era, we still need to have a sense of status and righteousness. Without these things, sending troops will be unjust and unreasonable.
"Okay, okay! Go get the imperial edict!"
"Yes!"
The eunuch beside him was just about to turn around to get the imperial edict, but the next moment, Zuo Santong gave him a big swallow.
"No need! I have already prepared the imperial edict. Please affix your seal!"
While David Dai, five hundred palace maids, and eunuchs were dumbfounded, Zuo Santong actually pulled out a written and filled imperial edict from his sleeve and handed it to the emperor for him to stamp.
Ah this...
It's very similar to a movie meme in later generations.
Loyal minister: "I want to see the emperor, I want the imperial edict!"
Traitor: "He wants an imperial edict. Write him one!"
David was very angry, and the eunuch next to him was also gritting his teeth. It was obvious that Zuo Santong had overstepped his authority!
But so what?
At the end of this dynasty, whoever holds the military power will be the king!
Emperor? I respect you, you are the emperor! I don't respect you, you are nothing.
The frustrated eunuch handed the imperial edict to Emperor David Dai, and Emperor David Dai could only frustratingly ask someone to prepare the seal and stamp it...
Haw!
Are you done? Can we continue eating?
No!
Zuo Santong took out the second imperial edict, which was a bit infuriating.
He asked Emperor David to enthrone him as a prince!
The reason is that his opponent Gao Pan is a prince, and I am not! If I am not, then I am not legitimate.
Why did the Great Qi only have two kings of different surnames, the King of Qin and the King of Zhengbei?
I want one too! I want to be named "King of Pingnan"!
I want to pacify the entire South, I want to deal with the Southern court, I want to unify the entire South and then sit back and watch the three unlucky guys in the North fight each other.
Emperor David Dai: "..."
Eunuch: "..."
Finally, the contest between the "King of Pingnan" and the "King of Zhengbei" officially began in the south.